Suicide @ HU

Yesterday, a girl committed suicide at the West Towers. She jumped from the eighth floor window. This tragic event really weighed on my soul. I know people who are depressed and have contemplated suicide. We all have issues that bother us. It is our responsibility to deal with the issues the best we can. If the issues cannot be dealt with on your own, seek professional help.

Howard University has an excellent counseling service. If you or someone you know may be interested, here is the necessary info:

1. Eligibility for Services
The University Counseling Services are available to all currently enrolled full-time Howard University students at no cost. Faculty, staff and community clients are seen for a fee. When necessary, sliding-scale fee may be applied at the discretion of the UCS. Spouses, other family members and friends may be included in sessions with the enrolled student, if appropriate.
2. Counseling Services
The Howard University Counseling Service's offers a range of professional services for students wanting help with psychological issues, personal concerns, interpersonal issues, and crisis. Students are initially seen by an individual counselor. Services, if needed, are offered in the form of individual, group meetings, depending on what best matches the student’s need. Referral to on-campus and/or off-campus support sources may be decided if clinical needs are beyond what we can provide.
3. Confidentiality
No information, written or oral, will be released to other persons without the student’s written permission. All interviews and counseling sessions are CONFIDENTIAL. Information provided to our staff will not be included in academic records.
The exceptions to this practice are:
· When a counselor believes you present an imminent danger to yourself or others.
· When the life or safety of a readily identifiable third person is endangered.
When a counselor believes that a child or vulnerable adult is being subjected to abuse, neglect, or exploitation.
When disclosure is made necessary by legal proceedings.
Howard University Counseling Service is subject to the legal requirements of confidentiality and ethical codes of the American Psychological and/or American Psychiatric Associations.
4. First Meeting
Once you come in, you will be asked to complete a brief intake form and to provide us with information about yourself prior to your first meeting with a counselor. This information will help us better understand your situation and plan service. Then, we will schedule an appointment that matches your availability.
5. E-Mail
UCS has established a policy of no e-mail regarding clinical appointment/issues with students due to lack of confidentiality of e-mail. We are concerned about protecting our clients' privacy, and it has become very clear that e-mail is not a safe and confidential means of communication.

(From the website: http://www.howard.edu/services/counseling/Default.htm)

Please pass this information along. It could save a life.

Serenity

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him,and he will direct your paths."Proverbs 3, 5-6

The Serenity Prayer

GOD, grant me the serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change,

Courage to change the
things I can, and the
wisdom to know the difference.

Living ONE DAY AT A TIME;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as the
pathway to peace.

Taking, as He did, this
sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it.

Trusting that He will make
all things right if I
surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy
in this life, and supremely
happy with Him forever in
the next.

Amen

--Reinhold Niebuhr

I think that explains everything...NUF SAID...

Isnt it Ironic?

"Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you. When you think everything's okay and everything's going right. And life has a funny way of helping you out when you think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face...And isn't it ironic...dontcha think? A little too ironic...and yeah I really do think..."-Alanis Morissette

Its times like these I wish I was an older, naked, white woman, with long hair that covered my breasts, who played a guitar. BUT, that is just not going to happen. I'm a YOUNGER, CLOTHED BLACK woman, with MEDIUM length hair that DOES NOT cover my breasts, who played the PIANO. I guess I have to do the best I can with what I have.

“Doing the best with what I have.” Everyone has that fate and responsibility. On face value, that concept doesn’t seem so bad. All my life my father has told me to: “Hope for the best. Expect the worst. Accept the best when it happens.” (Apparently, it’s an adage that my boyfriend believes in as well.)

It wouldn’t be so darn hard if life wasn’t so ironic. For the past few weeks irony has really been a major factor in my life. For example, RIGHT NOW I SHOULD be sleeping. I would like nothing more to be in my bed watching the black and black picture show playing behind my eyelids BUT IM NOT. I’m plagued by restlessness and the urge to break down in tears.

I’ve been fighting this urge to cry for two days now. I’ve come really close to doing it but then the tears get stuck. At this rate it seems like something miniscule is going to break this dam of tears. I’m awaiting the catalyst. I’m probably going to stub my toe or something. Then, I will erupt with convulsions and tears will cascade down my face. Time has taught me that I can’t force myself to have an effective cry. This will probably be one of those silent, soulful cries. There will be no sound. All of the things that I’m feeling and thinking that I am unable to express literally or verbally will be poured out of my soul in liquid form. It will be a liberating experience. I will be free to move on with my life. Everyone needs a good soulful cry every now and again.

Now back to this whole “irony” and “doing the best with what I have.” situation. All day I have yearned for something. All my life I have yearned for something. (I am being ambiguous for a reason.) In both cases, when I received what I thought I actually wanted, I realized that it wasn’t exactly what I wanted at all. I’m very perplexed. My not getting what I wanted is not COMPLETELY a bad thing. I should be so happy. (Random thoughts: We all fall short…Holler if you’re with me...I got what I wanted… No one is perfect...I feel used now…People were in trouble…I believe that the differences are a bonus… I believe in my heart and mind we will make it… I asked for it specifically… I’m determined to make us work…143 with all of my being)

I don’t know if it is me standing in the way of my happiness or some other power (God or the Devil) trying get me to see things for how they really are. I want to think that I am happy. But do “happy” people think the way I am right now?

Solace

Have you ever had a moment where you were comforted by our own words? Here is something that I wrote a long time ago that has comforted me after writing that emotional blog:

Life is constantly changing. Various people, places & things are put into our lives. They bring various emotions that fluctuate with earthquake proportions. Sometimes they stay for a season, or they may stay for the duration of our lives. It is important to see these people for who they are & what they mean for your life. Sometimes the separation means more good than harm either for u, the person, or your relationship.

With the altering states of our reality, sometimes it is easy to lose our grounding. Remember, the good book says: "Peace, I leave with you. My peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth you, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it not be afraid." John 14:27

Peace, love and happiness, I wish for you!

I did not know I would be saying these words to myself…

Faith Loss/Dream Deferred

"Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."
Hebrews 11:1

I was surfing the blogger, I ran across this post. It helped me out to make this reflection.:

By Jeff Doles:
“The Greek word for substance is hupostasis and refers to the underlying (hupo) state (stasis) of a thing. Similarly break down the English word “substance” and we find: sub (under) and stance (stand). Substance is that which stands under a thing.

In Greek, the word hupostasis had a legal meaning which signified a foundational document, such as a title-deed. That is why Greek scholars Moulton and Milligan rendered this translation: “Faith is the title-deed of things hoped for.”

A title-deed is an important document. It shows ownership. For example, I have a car sitting in my driveway. I know that it is my car because I possess the title-deed, which demonstrates my ownership. If anybody wants to do anything with my car, they have to come and see me, because the car belongs to me. If I decide to sell the car or give it away to somebody, I will have to sign the title-deed over to them, because that will be their proof of ownership

If I have the title-deed to a piece of property, I do not even have to see the property to know that it belongs to me. I know it is mine by reason of the title-deed. As long as I possess that title-deed, there is no question that I am the owner.

Let’s talk a little bit about hope. Today we often use the word “hope” in a wavering, doubtful sort of way: “Gee, I certainly hope such and such will happen, but maybe it won’t.” Not so in the Bible. The Greek word for “hope” in the New Testament is elpis. It refers to an anticipation, a positive expectation. The same is true of the Hebrew word for “hope” in the Old Testament. In the Bible, “hope” is not a word of doubt, but of confidence, and that is how it is used in Hebrews 11:1.

Now, let’s put it all together: Faith is the substance, the underlying reality, the title-deed of things we are expecting.”

I know that my boyfriend has some faith, but I am not sure that he has enough to make our relationship work. He says that he can believe that certain things can come true, but he can’t behave as if those things are already here. He will start to react the way that I want him to react once I have given him what it is that I are saying I will do. Let me make this clear: I do NOT want him to live in an alternate reality. BUT I DO want him to believe in me and what I say. He says that he believes. But does he really?

Our relationship has been on the rocks lately. Its been this crazy rollercoaster we have been on this high for months. We kept climbing higher and higher. Now we are plunging swiftly and violently into deep lows. I hate the way it makes me feel. I am quite sure that he dislikes it as well. I just feel as if I am alone in our relationship. Its never a good feeling to be pulling the weight of two people. The whole idea of a relationship is two people working together for the common good. They lean on each other. They make each other better people. They sacrifice themselves for each other. When you are in love that is what you do.

After having a very spirited conversation with my boyfriend, I liken lost to a dream deferred. Langston Hughes wrote a poem about that:

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?
-Langston Hughes

My question is: what will happen to our love? Will it dry up? Will it explode?

Welcome to My World

Hello All! This is the QuietStorm07. My real name means strong, black, beautiful, and luxurious. Currently, I’m holding it down BIO majors in the COAS at THE REAL HU, Howard University, in Washington, DC. I’m a “Diamond District” girl with midwestern roots. (Shout outs to all those who hail from the CHEESY state that is Wisconsin).

A little bit about me:
1. God fearing
**What has been accomplished in my life is of no way my doing on my own. In all my ways I acknowledge God and He has directed my path and will continue to do so. As I look toward the future I realize that I can do all things through God who strengthens me. I must also have faith. Remember, faith is
the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Faith has worked wonders in my life…I KNOW IT CAN DO THE SAME 4 U!

2.) Confident, respectful, trustworthy, easy to get along with, sense of humor, likes to talk and listen.... (Ya kno…generally speaking, I like to treat others they way I want to be treated...this is usually high quality treatment)

I'm beginning my journey with this e-journal/blogger business. I was a little skeptical at first BUT I've grown to I feel pretty good about my decision to start one of these. Oh well, I am big kid now. Don't get it twisted now, I'm grown and sexy. I can handle whatever I dish out. (At least I can try)

I'm just a little nervous that once I get comfortable and I start sharing my feelings with the world, that what I say and feel will come back to bite me in the behind. Lemme explain. My boyfriend told me about this guy on his blog site who got caught up when he bore his sole about his two-timing ways. One his girlfriends read confession, recognized certain parts of his story, confronted him and ended the relationship. She cussed him out in person as well as on the blog. Let’s hope I don’t initiate any drama, especially not that.

Holla atcha gurl! Feel free to respond. Imma want some response to the stuff I’ll be writing. I don’t see nothing wrong with a little talkin’ online. (Smiles)

Until next time, TTFN (Ta Ta For Now)!!!