Yesterday, I Cried
Every time I feel that I am making progress, something happens to pull me back. It’s like someone pulls the scab off, forces wound to bleed and rubs salt in the wounds. Its like I take one step forward, and then I take two steps back. I hate this cycle. It’s very painful. I was reading “Yesterday I Cried” by Iyanla Vanzant. It is helping me get through this difficult time. While I no longer cry over the ex-boyfriend, the poem describes those times I did cry” The opening poem of the introduction reads:
“Yesterday I Cried”
I came home, went straight to my room, sat on the edge of my bed,kicked off my shoes, unhooked my bra,and I had myself a good cry.
I'm telling you,I cried until my nose was running all over the silk blouse I got on sale.I cried until my ears were hot.I cried until my head was hurting so badthat I could hardly see the pile of soiled tissues lying on the floor at my feet.
I want you to understand,I had myself a really good cry yesterday.
Yesterday, I cried,for all the days that I was too busy, or too tired, or too mad to cry.
I cried for all the days, and all the ways,and all the times I had dishonored, disrespected, and disconnected my Self from myself,only to have it reflected back to me in the ways others did to methe same things I had already done to myself.
I cried for all the things I had given, only to have them stolen;for all the things I had asked for that had yet to show up;for all the things I had accomplished, only to give them away, to people in circumstances,which left me feeling empty, and battered and plain old used.
I cried because there really does come a time when the only thing left for you to do is cry.
Yesterday, I cried.I cried because I hurt. I cried because I was hurt.I cried because hurt has no place to goexcept deeper into the pain that caused it in the first place,and when it gets there, the hurt wakes you up.
I cried because it was too late. I cried because it was time.
I cried because my soul knew that I didn't knowthat my soul knew everything I needed to know.
I cried a soulful cry yesterday, and it felt so good.
It felt so very, very bad.
In the midst of my crying, I felt my freedom coming, Because Yesterday, I cried with an agenda.
“Yesterday I Cried”
I came home, went straight to my room, sat on the edge of my bed,kicked off my shoes, unhooked my bra,and I had myself a good cry.
I'm telling you,I cried until my nose was running all over the silk blouse I got on sale.I cried until my ears were hot.I cried until my head was hurting so badthat I could hardly see the pile of soiled tissues lying on the floor at my feet.
I want you to understand,I had myself a really good cry yesterday.
Yesterday, I cried,for all the days that I was too busy, or too tired, or too mad to cry.
I cried for all the days, and all the ways,and all the times I had dishonored, disrespected, and disconnected my Self from myself,only to have it reflected back to me in the ways others did to methe same things I had already done to myself.
I cried for all the things I had given, only to have them stolen;for all the things I had asked for that had yet to show up;for all the things I had accomplished, only to give them away, to people in circumstances,which left me feeling empty, and battered and plain old used.
I cried because there really does come a time when the only thing left for you to do is cry.
Yesterday, I cried.I cried because I hurt. I cried because I was hurt.I cried because hurt has no place to goexcept deeper into the pain that caused it in the first place,and when it gets there, the hurt wakes you up.
I cried because it was too late. I cried because it was time.
I cried because my soul knew that I didn't knowthat my soul knew everything I needed to know.
I cried a soulful cry yesterday, and it felt so good.
It felt so very, very bad.
In the midst of my crying, I felt my freedom coming, Because Yesterday, I cried with an agenda.
posted by SdotK at 3:12 AM
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