How Did I Get Here?

How did I get here? No one is ever supposed to be here…

“Life hurts. Life is painful. Life is suffering.
There is nothing in life that does not involve trial.
There is nothing worthwhile that doesn’t have a cost.
Yet, we must go on.
There is nothing great that does not require a series of small acts.
We must persevere.
If we do, good times are sure to follow.
If we constantly seek, even in darkness,
Guidance is sure to come.
If we strive against evil, no matter what the cost, righteousness is sure to triumph.”
-Deng Ming Dao, in Everyday Tao: Living With Balance and Harmony

I’m so conflicted. Things were going so well. I had peace about the situation before. Now, it’s lost. I have an idea but I don’t want to guess. I want to know. There are two options. Either I win or I lose. Lord knows I’m tired of losing. But I need to know what I need to do. I will learn to be happy with either. What will it be? Please let me know (SOON)….

Words on my brain:
1.) Un·con·di·tion·al- Without conditions or limitations; absolute: demanded unconditional surrender
2.) Love- a.) A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. b.) A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
3.) Risk -The possibility of suffering harm or loss; danger
4.) Safe·ty -The condition of being safe; freedom from danger, risk, or injury.

All I can do is SIGH….